Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the penne pasta and cook according to the package instructions until al dente, usually about 9-11 minutes. Once cooked, drain the pasta and rinse it under cold water to stop the cooking process, setting it aside while you prepare the rest of the dish.

In a large pot or skillet, heat over medium-high heat. Add the chopped bacon and cook until crispy, about 6-8 minutes. Stir occasionally to ensure even cooking and prevent burning. Once browned, use a slotted spoon to remove the bacon from the pot, leaving the rendered fat for the next steps, and drain the excess grease.

In the same pot with the bacon fat, add the cubed boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Season with salt and pepper, then sauté for about 5-7 minutes, turning occasionally until the chicken is seared on all sides and cooked through.

To the pot with the chicken, add the diced yellow onion and sauté for about 3-4 minutes or until softened and translucent. Stir in the minced garlic and cook for an additional minute, until fragrant.

Pour in the chicken broth, then add the sour cream, cream cheese, and ranch dressing mix, stirring to combine everything. Season with additional salt, pepper, and dried parsley to taste. Bring the mixture to a gentle boil, then reduce the heat and let it simmer for 2-3 minutes.

Once the sauce is smooth and heated through, stir in the cooked penne pasta along with the crispy bacon. Mix well to ensure the pasta is thoroughly coated in the sauce. Let it simmer for another 5 minutes to meld all the flavors together.

Remove the pot from heat and fold in the shredded cheddar cheese until melted and fully incorporated. Check seasoning again and adjust as necessary.

Spoon the Crack Chicken Penne into serving bowls and garnish with chopped green onions for a fresh touch before serving warm.